Gun Control Survey
Are you a tree-hugging, bleeding-hearted wimp?
An uncompromising, shoot-first-ask-questions-later Neanderthal?
Answer these eleven “YES” or “NO” questions as honestly as possible and they may help you decide.
1. Does the Constitution of the United States of America grant the right to bear arms to a well-regulated militia?
2. Does the Constitution grant the right to bear arms to convicted criminals?
3. Does the Constitution grant the right to bear arms to the mentally ill?
4. Does the Constitution grant the right to bear arms to terrorists?
5. Do the children of space aliens who crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico have the right to bear arms?
6. Does the Constitution grant the right to bear arms to Late Night Comedians?
7. Has any President of the United States ever attempted to repeal the Second Amendment?
8. Has any President ever attempted to take guns away from lawful gun owners?
9. Has any American politician ever proposed taking guns away from lawful gun owners?
10. Do American citizens have the right to own and keep nuclear weapons?
11. Is there more than one place in Travis County where you can get good Tex/Mex food?
If you answered “no” to every question, you don’t eat out very often.
If you answered “yes” to every question, you have an unhealthy trust of Late Night Comedians.
If you answered “yes” to 7,8 and 9 – you probably went deer hunting when you were supposed to be in high school civics class.
If you answered “yes” to 5 and 10, agents wearing black suits and sunglasses are on their way to your house to confiscate your television.
If you answered “yes” to 2, 3, 4 and 10 – I hope you don’t know where I live.
If you answered “no” to #1, you are most likely a child of space aliens who crashed in Roswell.
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James BigBoy Medlin © 2019
James BigBoy Medlin was the sports writer for the original Austin Sun. His column was called "Why Not?"
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